Your Nervous System Has a Favorite

There are some things I love for the simple reason that I don't have to think about them, hardly ever at all: my beating heart, the miracle of our lungs turning oxygen into carbon dioxide that nurtures the plants while they nurture us back just by existing. One system I've become more keenly aware of is my nervous system — it is constantly taking the temperature, telling my body if it's safe or not, and then releasing chemicals appropriately.

Here's something worth sitting with: your nervous system has a favorite. Not a substance, necessarily — but a pattern. A go-to. Something it reaches for, almost before you know you're reaching.

With many things it's often easier to spot this when it shows up in someone else — the person who loves the thrill of saving people as an EMT or police officer. The nurse or teacher who can't leave well enough alone — who stays late, takes the hard cases, because being needed is the thing that makes the day make sense. Or the perpetually busy person, who always has a full calendar but manages to add one more thing, because the thought of sitting still or having an empty spot feels like failure.

If you're feeling a little too seen right now, stick with me.

I know these patterns because I have lived them. And I know how hard it is to face what's underneath them, because for a long time I didn't. One day I noticed I was leaning too hard on alcohol to avoid the reality of being in the moment. Underneath the numbing, I realized there was a whole wide world of wonder my body had signaled to me was unsafe to experience fully.

What has your nervous system decided is the safest way to feel alive — and is it still serving you?

This Week's Wayfinding Practice

The next time you feel the pull toward your favorite — the urge to check the phone, fill the calendar, fix the problem, pour the drink, save the day — pause for just three breaths before you reach.

Not to stop yourself. Just to get curious.

Place a hand on your chest and ask: what is my nervous system trying to do right now? Is it trying to turn the volume up, or turn it down? Is it reaching for aliveness, or reaching for quiet?

You don't have to change anything yet. Just notice. Give your nervous system a little wave of acknowledgment —Hey boo, I see you, I know you're trying to help — and then decide, from that tiny moment of awareness, what you actually want to do next.

That pause is the threshold. And you get to choose what's on the other side.

I'm curious — did you recognize your nervous system's favorite in this piece? Hit reply and tell me which one made you feel a little too seen. I promise I won't tell anyone. 😊

Elaine

This reflection is part of Wayfinder's Weekly, my free Monday newsletter for people navigating threshold seasons. Subscribe here

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